The Sorting of Jacob Kowalski
by omelettethemusical
Summary: J. K. Rowling recently revealed what Jacob's Hogwarts house would have been, so let's see what would happen if he actually got sorted! Takes place during the Hogwarts scene in Crimes of Grindelwald.


**Summer 1927 **

Jacob, Newt, and Dumbledore stood on top of a hill, looking out at Hogwarts. For Newt and Dumbledore, the sight brought fond memories. But for Jacob, it just brought confusion.

"So this is Hogwarts?" Jacob said. "Just looks like a pile of rocks to me."

"Yes, well, that's how it's enchanted to look to Muggles," Newt said.

"Could - could you let me see it?" Jacob asked. "I wouldn't tell anyone about it, I promise."

"All right," said Dumbledore. "But I'll have to wipe your memory afterwards."

"Deal," Jacob said.

Dumbledore waved his wand, and suddenly the pile of rocks transformed into an enormous castle. Jacob's mouth fell open. "Wow," he whispered. "Could - could we go inside?"

"I suppose," Dumbledore said. "It's summer, so there aren't any students around."

Jacob, Newt, and Dumbledore walked across the bridge, through the courtyard, up the stone steps, and into the Great Hall. Jacob had never seen a room so magnificent. He walked down the aisle between the tables and picked up an old hat sitting on a stool.

"What's this?" Jacob asked. "Did someone leave this here?"

"I am the Sorting Hat," the Hat said. Jacob screamed and dropped it to the floor. Newt and Dumbledore laughed.

"Holy smokes!" Jacob said. "A talking hat! I - I'm sorry, are you hurt?"

"Of course not," the Hat said. "I am a Hat, I cannot be hurt."

Jacob carefully picked up the Hat and placed it back on the stool. "So you're the Sorting Hat," he said. "What does that mean?"

"I sort students into their houses," the Hat said.

"Houses?"

"Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin."

"Those are some funny-sounding words," Jacob said.

"They were the names of the four founders of Hogwarts," the Hat told him.

"So what do they mean? What do the houses stand for?"

"Gryffindor stands for bravery and chivalry, Hufflepuff stands for hard work and loyalty, Ravenclaw stands for intelligence and wisdom, and Slytherin stands for ambition and cunning."

"They all sound cool," Jacob said. He turned to Newt and Dumbledore. "Which houses were you in?"

"I was in Gryffindor," Dumbledore said.

"And I was in Hufflepuff," Newt said.

"Could you sort me?" Jacob asked the Hat.

"I suppose," the Hat said. "I have never sorted a Muggle before, or an adult. And of course, sorting you will mean nothing. But if you really want to know what house you would be in, just place me on your head."

Jacob sat on the stool and placed the Sorting Hat on his head. "Very interesting," the Hat said. "I cannot place you in Slytherin, since you are a Muggle. And I am afraid you do not have the academic aptitude for Ravenclaw. That just leaves Gryffindor and Hufflepuff."

"Oh," said Jacob. He looked at Newt and Dumbledore, who were both watching him intently. Newt was his best friend, and he would like to be in the same house as him. But Dumbledore was said to be the greatest wizard in Britain, and one of the greatest in the world. Surely it would be an honor to be in his house as well.

"Do you have a preference between the two?" the Hat asked.

"No," said Jacob. "Not really. Just put me wherever you think I belong."

"Hmm. You are very loyal and hardworking," the Hat observed. "You enjoy the comforts of home and food. And yet, there is another side to you. You were once a soldier, were you not?"

"Yeah," Jacob said. "In the Great War." He didn't like to think about it.

"You have a taste for adventure," the Hat went on. "Most Muggles would be afraid of being thrust into the wizarding world, but you have embraced it wholeheartedly. Therefore, I am going to put you in… GRYFFINDOR!"

Dumbledore took the Hat off of Jacob's head, and Jacob got up from the stool. Newt and Dumbledore both applauded. Jacob grinned.

"Congratulations, Jacob," Dumbledore said, shaking Jacob's hand. "Welcome to the best house at Hogwarts. No offense, Newt."

"None taken," Newt said. "Congratulations, Jacob. Welcome to the second-best house at Hogwarts."

"Well, this has all been amazing," Jacob said. "Thank you so much." He frowned. "But now I have to forget it all, don't I?"

Dumbledore nodded. As they started to leave, Jacob turned back to the Sorting Hat. "Goodbye, Sorting Hat," he said. "Thanks for sorting me."

"Don't mention it," the Hat said. "I'm just glad for the company."

Jacob, Newt, and Dumbledore left the Great Hall and crossed the courtyard and the bridge. Dumbledore waved his wand, and Hogwarts became a pile of rocks once more. Then he turned to Jacob.

"Are you ready, Jacob?" he asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Jacob said sadly.

Dumbledore pointed his wand at Jacob's head, and suddenly Jacob felt a dazed confusion come over him. "What are we doing here?" he asked. "Where are we?"

"This is Hogwarts," Dumbledore told him.

"It's just a pile of rocks," Jacob said.

"Yes," said Dumbledore. "Yes it is."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review. If you liked this, you might also like my other stories, _The Sorting of Newt Scamander_ and _The Sorting of Leta Lestrange_. **


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